So as I wrote in my last blog, I signed up to start school this year. I'm a 23 year old married lady who is starting school for the first time ever...a little late, huh? Oh well, my whole perspective on this is that it's better to start late then to never start at all. I feel like if I had started when I was younger, I wouldn't have enjoyed it or appreciated it as much as I do now.
Anyways, the funny thing about me is I tend to be intimated by a group of people, or people in authority positions. I have to remind myself that I am just as much in authority as they are, and that I'm not a teenager anymore. Since today was my first day of "crashing" a class that I want to take this year, I found myself feeling like I was back in high school. Walking the halls, nervous of what people are thinking, wondering if the teacher will like me, etc. I have to laugh at myself sometimes...today was definitely a time to do so.
As I was driving to school, I started hitting every single red light. Mind you, my school is only 4 miles down the road from where I live, you'd think I'd get there fairly quick; nope, it took me 15 minutes to get to school! As I'm driving, I start stressing, thinking the teacher will notice or be mad, and all the students will be looking at me when I walk in, etc. "Oh Emerald," I thought, " You're married, at least 4 years older than most of the students, AND you are paying to take this class, relax." I prayed after that and realized that I didn't need to worry about any of that. I am a grown woman, I need to step up to the plate and allow myself to feel like one.
Yeah...like that.
I don't know why or how I allow myself to feel smaller or inferior to so many people or situations, I guess I just don't like stepping on people's toes...I don't know. Everything ended going great! I was only 2 minutes late and my teacher was still handing out papers. I was able to walk in with a new found confidence and have a seat in the front row! I was so glad. The class went great, I already started learning a lot and my teacher is hilarious. I'm so glad I didn't allow myself to be intimidated by the whole situation.
At the end of the class, I walked up to the teacher and told her my name, and that I'd like to be added to the class. She recognized my name immediately because I had e-mailed her last week asking if I could join. She said, "Yes.", gave me my "add number", and joked about me being related to "Jack Sparrow". I told her I was married to Jeff Sparrow, and that somewhere down his family tree he had an uncle Jack...she laughed.
(like this)
Anyways, I am SO excited about school! I am crashing and taking classes that I actually WANT to learn about, and I am going to be challenging myself. I am so glad that I decided to start school this year, and even though I'm older than most, I'm glad I'm doing it now. I feel like I'm accomplishing something awesome, and that's a GREAT feeling. My wonderful husband is my support, and I am so thankful that I get to go home to him after classes, he is amazing.
My point is, don't let yourself be discouraged! I've signed up for school 5 other times in my life and NEVER finished a single class, but I'm doing it now and I am on my way to a better future! Remind yourself that you are valuable and you don't have to feel intimated or small, you are created to accomplish GREAT things. Don't believe me? Read this scripture:
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